Saved by Slow Death

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” ~Sydney J. Harris

Living with bipolar disorder (undiagnosed) until my late 30′s is making my current life (diagnosed & medicated) far more difficult than I ever would have guessed.

Throughout my life I have made more than my share of bad decisions but they didn’t seem that bad while I was making them, but I had no idea there was a mental illness that was short circuiting my thoughts. When I made a bad decision it never completely registered that it was bad. On some level I knew I was doing something really bad but it had very, very little meaning. Continue reading

“All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy. What right have we then to depreciate imagination.” ~Carl Jung

As far back as I can remember I have always loved to be creative from plastering my bedroom walls with crazy things I made (like the dragonfly above), to being an art major in school and now writing here. Somewhere along the line I feel like I lost a lot of what I use to have inside. Continue reading

This inspirational story of the American Dream will make you realize, you may already be living your dream! You may realize your dream is not what you thought it was or that it really isn’t that hard to achieve. No two dreams are alike and as you will see in this story  …wealth is something that has different meaning for different people.

An American businessman was standing at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish. Continue reading

“Don’t mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.” ~ Josh Billings

Over the past week I have had some thoughts about my plan to quit smoking. Quitting cold turkey is too much of a jolt to my system after having been a smoker for over two decades.

I feel I have no choice but to embrace the method of taking baby steps because so far, nothing else has worked. I feel this is the best plan for me because several years ago, this method actually worked! Obviously I began smoking again but that was due to being around too many people who still smoked. Right now, I don’t have a lot of smokers in my life so that is a big plus. Continue reading

“Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.” -Oprah Winfrey

Happy New Year to you all!  I have said it before and God knows I have tried before, but on this New Year’s Day I am hell bent on quitting smoking cigarettes for good. I have smoked for a solid 24 years and I can’t remember what it is like to not smoke.

I have three packs of cigarettes left and that means a three day supply, but over the course of the next several days (or more) I am going to ignore the routine I have created over the last 24 years. Hopefully, I can replace my bad habit with a better one! My source of inspiration this time has come from a site called, Lifestyle Changeup, you should check it out! Continue reading

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, surrounded by assholes.” ~William Gibson

Have you ever wondered why you never have a good time no matter how fun the situation should be? Is the fun spoiled by unnecessary drama and petty bickering until what should have been an exciting experience has now turned into an episode of The Real Housewives? Does the drama make you feel bad or depressed about life because you are deprived of actual fun? Continue reading

Howdy people, it’s been a little over a month since I’ve made a peep here. The last thing I told you was how aromatherapy works great on me for depression …except for this last month. Over the last month it did diddly squat for my moods.

I found a quote that did a good job at summing up the past 30 days of depression ….more or less. Continue reading

“The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while Nature cures the disease.” ~Voltaire

Bad moods and depression suck, and bipolar mood swings are even worse so when I feel one creeping in I usually burn a stick of incense and most of the time, it immediately puts me in a more relaxed and happier place. My partner saw me doing this and he mentioned it’s a form of aromatherapy, but until that moment, I never realized what I was doing.

One fragrance in particular works like a charm – it’s called India Temple Incense from Song of India. No other incense lifts my deprssion the way this one does, but I would think it is preference to some extent. Continue reading

“I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep on doing so until the end.”  ~Abraham Lincoln

Putting many of my experiences with bipolar disorder into an ebook was a little scary and slightly overwhelming. Those experiences ranged from the deep depression, to drugs, to prostitution and I didn’t know how it would be received. Would people think even less of me or would people understand bipolar disorder a little bit better? I was hoping for the latter. Continue reading

“With the elegance of simplicity, this book takes you on an exploration of consciousness that will shift you to a higher reality.” ~Deepak Chopra

I literally just finished reading Midnights with the Mystic and felt compelled to share it as a huge book recommendation. This book came with high praise from a long time friend and that’s exactly what prompted me to give it a shot.

The main thing I liked about it was that it was very easy to understand with a whole lot of logic, yet mystical at the same time. It was very straightforward without a bunch of preachy, new-agey type of concepts that feel like riddles more than anything else. So, yes, it was easy to understand. Continue reading