Monday, April 29th, 2013 | Permalink
I’m an idiot. You would think in all my writing and all my doctor appointments, I would have realized bipolar 1 and manic-depressive disorder (or manic depression) are one and the same! On the other hand, my memory is very bad so I may have known this somewhere along the line.
This is why I get confused:
Doctor # 1 said – You’re bipolar
Doctor # 2 said – You’re major-depressive
Doctor # 3 said – You’re bipolar 1
Monday, October 1st, 2012 | Permalink
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” ~George Eliot
Greetings people! I took off for a month and a half and I really don’t feel it mattered much except that I did what I wanted when I wanted, so there’s that…. I didn’t have any great ideas or revelations – nothing at all like that. I did have time to adjust to my new medication so that’s a plus! A great frickin awesome plus!
Over the course of my little break I learned to never judge a pill by it’s size, specifically, a little 2mg pill called Abilify. (more…)
Thursday, July 26th, 2012 | Permalink
“Goodwill to others is constructive thought. It helps build you up. It is good for your body. It makes your blood purer, your muscles stronger, and your whole form more symmetrical in shape. It is the real elixir of life. The more such thought you attract to you, the more life you will have.” -Prentice Mulford
What comes to mind when you think of Betty White? Maybe funny, energized, happy, friendly, caring, optimistic, bright, cheerful, upbeat, sunny, vibrant and just plain awesome! Not bad for a woman who just turned 90 years young a few months ago, right? I believe it has to do with how she thinks and the thought currents she connects to… (more…)
Monday, July 9th, 2012 | Permalink
“Everything in the Universe, throughout all its kingdoms, is conscious: i.e., endowed with a consciousness of its own kind and on its own plane of perception.” -H.P. Blavatsky
Have you ever owned a computer with glitchy software? Do you get annoyed when it doesn’t do what you want it to do especially when you are computer savvy but the software is making it far more frustrating, complicated and time consuming than it needs to be? Do you want to throw the computer down a flight of stairs because you are so angry?? Yes? Great! Then read on…
There is some debate about our minds being separate from our brains – it’s something I believe is true. I believe our mind is our consciousness and our body uses the brain to access that mind or consciousness. (more…)
Friday, June 29th, 2012 | Permalink
“Depression is the inability to construct a future.” -Rollo May
The thing I wish for myself is passion, a passion for anything! I’m talking about something along the lines of a career or my purpose in life, not about my personal relationships. The relationships I have with my family, my partner and my friends are really good and I consider myself lucky to have every one of them.
The passion for something beyond that has remained as elusive as Bigfoot dancing in a leotard while unicorns sing and fart glitter rainbows! At this point in my life, I feel like you’re more likely to snap a picture of Bigfoot and the unicorns than to find me discovering a passion for anything. (more…)
Thursday, June 21st, 2012 | Permalink
“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” -Dr. Suess
Over the last few days I have been suffering through depression and anxiety that hit me like a 500 foot tidal wave. This depression has been terrible and again, I find myself in deep
thought while my fingers dance across the keyboard as I talk to you wonderful listeners. As you may know, the typing helps me snap out of the depression …most of the time.
I recently got a psyche evaluation and second opinion on my five year old diagnosis of bipolar disorder from a respected psychologist. Before my appointment, I researched bipolar disorder online and made a list of my symptoms because I wanted to be prepared for this appointment but that was a waste of time. The psychologist told me that the websites are far too general and you could diagnose yourself with about anything after reading them. [sigh] (more…)
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012 | Permalink
“If the words “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” don’t include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn’t worth the hemp it was written on.” ~Terence McKenna
It was about two months ago when I tried marijuana for my neuropathy to see if it had an effect on the intense pain I was experiencing. The post was titled, Neuropathy Pain and Marijuana, and if you read it you would know it did help with the pain …very much so!
I have continued to smoke marijuana only in the evening when I know I am home for the night and only one hit. In other words, I inhale the same as I would from only one drag from a cigarette and that is very little. I don’t want you to think I’m smoking endlessly and getting stoned out of my gourd, no that is not happening. (more…)
Wednesday, April 11th, 2012 | Permalink
“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.“ ~Anatole France
I was watching TV and there was a show about animals helping veterans deal with the many problems they face when they return home. They help them cope with emotional trauma among other things and I immediately began to think how my dog and cat both seem to know when I’m feeling bad, suffering from my depression or just having problems with my anxiety. (more…)
Monday, February 27th, 2012 | Permalink
To live in this world today we always need to search for the good in any given situation no matter how dark and depressing it seems to be at the time. I have found the silver lining in the most unlikely places, even when I was lying in the hospital wearing a diaper while family and friends were afraid I would die.
Bipolar disorder is a bitch for those with the disorder, for those who live with them as well as some of their family and friends. Living with it means being constantly misunderstood because many people are unaware of the many facets including hyper-sexuality, forgetfulness, and taking extreme risks because we often lack any sense of danger. (more…)
Thursday, February 16th, 2012 | Permalink
“For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, for love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I’ve been thinking about my recent self-diagnosis of psychological and emotional trauma and sure, I probably shouldn’t be self-diagnose myself and I also think I was having an unusually bad week! At the same time I still do think I suffered psychologically and emotionally from using meth with a bunch of A-holes ….that is a fact. (more…)
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