“If you think you can do it, or you think you can’t do it, You are right.” ~ Henry Ford
Sure, I did many things that I regret and definitely wouldn’t have done while sober, but that wasn’t the real me, it was me in a really bad altered state from crystal meth.
I have much more self-respect now which is something I never had much of before becoming sober and after being treated for bipolar disorder.
Then I realized, if I treat myself with respect, others will too. If I decide to make fun of myself in a destructive way, others will too.
Now that I think about it, that was part of the problem when I was using crystal meth. I was always poking fun of my mental state and made a joke out of everything before others did. I put myself down so much and I think others played off that weakness. I think my lack in confidence was inconsistent of many meth users because it seemed to give them more confidence.
“Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with your self esteem.” ~ Kurt Cobain
When I am describing past experiences I try not to put myself down…. at least not any more. They are something real that I want to express and are a part of my journey. They are the events which led me to this place and I like the place I am in.
It’s always changing, but it’s always changing for the better. Before I gained self-respect things always seemed to get worse.
It’s funny, I didn’t realize much of this until I went to write it and couldn’t. Even if no one ever reads this, I have learned something valuable.