“You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.” ~ Olin Miller
Being an adult in the hospital without the ability to walk makes an adult diaper a necessity. Truly, it was not the worst thing in the world and I’m just grateful I was on morphine at the time yet, I was still mortified and all I could think was, “uh oh!”
I fought my body for a while trying to hold everything in. The thing I didn’t realize is they were giving me laxatives! Did you ever try to hold everything in after someone slipped you laxatives while in a diaper!? It’s not possible and only serves in making the inevitable far more memorable. I’m so happy I can laugh about this now.
The anticipation was awful! I kept waiting and thinking to myself, “Maybe I’ll regain my ability to walk before I have to use this diaper,” which of course was denial!
Then that rumbling sensation began and talk about being anxious and fearful about this coming apocalypse, damn! Finally, I just had to let go and give in or else I was going to explode. So that’s what I did, I gave in. Unfortunately, I failed to avert the exploding part.
Umm, How Shall I Word This?
Then it was time for something even worse, and that is having your diaper changed by two women. God, kill me now! The whole thing was so humiliating but it’s not like I could avoid being changed. Then I realized I was going to have to tell them I needed to be changed and my first thought was, “How does one word this???” “Excuse me…miss….uh, umm…..my adult diaper is in need of refreshing.”
I made it so much more than it was….really I did. After the first time I was over it and I just let go of my ego – I let go of all of it and just let them do their job. I knew it wasn’t their first time….well maybe it was for the younger one judging by her reaction [sigh] but someone had to break her in.
I’m sure she’ll always remember me. I know I’ll always remember the way she rushed into the bathroom with her arm over her face priceless! An image forever burned into my memory. Ahhh….good times.
Worst to Best
I went from being incredibly nervous, to anxious, to fearful, to humiliated, to mortified, to feeling good about being pampered. I could have avoided all of the unpleasantness and gone directly to feeling pampered.
I didn’t lose the lesson because I realized that the fear was created in my own mind. The worrying made the experience awful so I just do my best to not worry. Worrying never changed the outcome of anything, but being happy let’s you find the silver lining in almost anything, even finding yourself in an adult diaper!