Howdy people, it’s been a little over a month since I’ve made a peep here. The last thing I told you was how aromatherapy works great on me for depression …except for this last month. Over the last month it did diddly squat for my moods.
I found a quote that did a good job at summing up the past 30 days of depression ….more or less.
“Whenever someone sorrows, I do not say, “forget it,” or “it will pass,” or “it could be worse” — all of which deny the integrity of the painful experience. But I say, to the contrary, “It is worse than you may allow yourself to think. Delve into the depth. Stay with the feeling. Think of it as a precious source of knowledge and guidance. Then and only then will you be ready to face it and be transformed in the process.” ~Peter Koestenbaum
Early on after the depression set in I really tried to combat it but after days of misery I let go and just suffered through it. It seemed the harder I resisted feeling depressed, the worse I felt so I stopped trying to get anything accomplished, including writing.
Days passed and I found myself becoming a bit of a couch potato. A couple more days and I began to fell worse even though I let go of trying to get better, now I was becoming frustrated because I no longer felt a purpose to move …including taking a shower.
Then I really let go and allowed myself to feel like shit as the days turned into weeks….
Near the end of the 30 day period I begin to feel better without doing anything to change it. Feeling better allowed me to get up and I began to accomplish more things in a shorter amount of time. Then I found the more I accomplished, the better I felt.
It wasn’t until tonight that I was finally able to write a little bit of where I have been. I guess the lesson I learned is sometimes I am just going to feel terrible and there isn’t a damned thing I can do to change it. Instead of punishing myself because I feel the depression I should embrace it and do as much nothing as I can get away with and it will eventually fix itself.