“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~ The Dalai Lama
The ugly truth of associating with meth addicts is that you have an excellent chance of being used and abused. When you “party” with them you are not their friend and they definitely are not yours. You may hear, “I’m doing this for you,” or “I’m trying to make you happy.” Don’t fall for it, their only concern is making themselves happy and you are just a tool.
The ways in which one can be manipulated by someone is limited only by that meth addict’s imagination and cunning. The more devious and addicted that person is, the more you will be treated as a thing. A meth addict will steal, lie, distract, and confuse you, make you feel unwanted or wanted depending on the game of the day. You may be the entertainment as others see how paranoid and freaked out they can make you.
There were many times I felt like the servant. I was always being asked to do this, or do that, I felt like a waiter in my own home. I know I was being manipulated, I showed a “weakness” in wanting to make others happy and it was exploited. I did feel it at the time but shrugged it off thinking that I was just paranoid.
Aimed to Please
I didn’t want to be viewed as the paranoid guy on meth so I just carried on and fought with myself. I had a fear of becoming the wacked-out fruitcake who couldn’t handle his meth. This only made me want to please my boyfriend, Simon, and our company. I thought if I was cooperative they would like me more, but in fact, I was most likely acting as they had planned. I walked into rooms all too many times to see whispering end abruptly. This pissed me off!
Meth Addicts Lie
I confronted Simon when we were alone and he always denied anything was being whispered. He assured me it was nothing and as I became more sober, I would assume it was true.
I have said this before and I am saying it again, trust yourself, trust your instinct. You may want to wait until you are more sober but the feelings that are genuine will remain after the drug has gone. This has been my experience because meth addicts lie.
From speaking to others who experienced others on meth, sharing information, asking opinions, and then trying to put the puzzle together….this is the picture the puzzle has formed.