Saved by Slow Death

“For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, for love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’ve been thinking about my recent self-diagnosis of psychological and emotional trauma and sure, I probably shouldn’t be self-diagnose myself and I also think I was having an unusually bad week! At the same time I still do think I suffered psychologically and emotionally from using meth with a bunch of A-holes ….that is a fact.

Since that bad week I have pushed myself to keep busy and that has helped my mind stay focused on other things. If I don’t keep busy then my mind just becomes stagnate and that is when my past comes sneaking up behind me and opens up a bunch of memories that I would be very happy to forget forever.

All-in-all, I think my life is pretty damned good and I really shouldn’t complain. I have so much more in my life to be thankful for than to be depressed about and maybe it’s time to dust off my gratitude journal that I have been neglecting.

I think my back-n-forth attitude from feeling thankful to feeling depressed is basically what it means to be bipolar and it will be something I struggle with until I die. I think it’s even something non-bipolars deal with as well but maybe less severe, although I can’t say for sure because I’m not a non-bipolar but it seems logical.

I’ll end this with the short list of what I am thankful for:

• My partner, my significant other, my best friend!
• A loving family far too great for any unnecessary drama!
• An awesome bunch of genuine friends!
• I live in a beautiful, perfectly sized city!
• Great neighbors and I actually know their names!
• Haven’t had a car payment in 12 years!
• A cat that loves to snuggle!
• A budding business!
• I live in an age of air-conditioning, refrigerators, dishwashers and vacuums!
• I am alive!

So the point is to be grateful, don’t forget the good stuff and don’t let your mind become stagnate.