“Depression is the inability to construct a future.” -Rollo May
The thing I wish for myself is passion, a passion for anything! I’m talking about something along the lines of a career or my purpose in life, not about my personal relationships. The relationships I have with my family, my partner and my friends are really good and I consider myself lucky to have every one of them.
The passion for something beyond that has remained as elusive as Bigfoot dancing in a leotard while unicorns sing and fart glitter rainbows! At this point in my life, I feel like you’re more likely to snap a picture of Bigfoot and the unicorns than to find me discovering a passion for anything. (more…)
“If the words “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” don’t include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn’t worth the hemp it was written on.” ~Terence McKenna
It was about two months ago when I tried marijuana for my neuropathy to see if it had an effect on the intense pain I was experiencing. The post was titled, Neuropathy Pain and Marijuana, and if you read it you would know it did help with the pain …very much so!
I have continued to smoke marijuana only in the evening when I know I am home for the night and only one hit. In other words, I inhale the same as I would from only one drag from a cigarette and that is very little. I don’t want you to think I’m smoking endlessly and getting stoned out of my gourd, no that is not happening. (more…)
“My mother taught me that when you stand in the truth and someone tells a lie about you, don’t fight it. “ ~Whitney Houston
We’ve all heard the sad news of Whitney Houston‘s passing, but instead of speculating on the cause of her death I prefer to remember the person and her amazing voice.
She wasn’t perfect, she was human and being human means having faults. We always feel a sort of kinship with others who we share certain faults. (more…)
“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” ~Sydney J. Harris
Living with bipolar disorder (undiagnosed) until my late 30′s is making my current life (diagnosed & medicated) far more difficult than I ever would have guessed.
Throughout my life I have made more than my share of bad decisions but they didn’t seem that bad while I was making them, but I had no idea there was a mental illness that was short circuiting my thoughts. When I made a bad decision it never completely registered that it was bad. On some level I knew I was doing something really bad but it had very, very little meaning. (more…)
“All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy. What right have we then to depreciate imagination.” ~Carl Jung
As far back as I can remember I have always loved to be creative from plastering my bedroom walls with crazy things I made (like the dragonfly above), to being an art major in school and now writing here. Somewhere along the line I feel like I lost a lot of what I use to have inside.
These days whenever I try being creative I feel lost and a bit numb. Creatively, I am usually in a rut that feels a bit like sinking in quicksand. I really miss my right-brain! (more…)
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it is better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” ~Marilyn Monroe
I am an imperfect being with a list of imperfect conditions, says the doctor, but why do they all need their own labels? Aside from the obvious fact that the pharmaceutical companies need a reason to sell you a pill.
Why do I have to be bipolar? Why can’t I just be a moody bastard?! Maybe moody is normal and those who aren’t moody need to be medicated. Is it possible I’m very passionate about whatever I am feeling at the moment while other “normal” people are lacking passion? (more…)
“It is our illusions that create the world.” ~ Didier Cauwelaer
STOP and read this!
If you’re new to this site, this is totally off topic but I don’t care because I found a photo I took in 2009 and want it to be seen – so please look! NO! it’s not the photo of the stop sign…it’s the photo below!
The photo was taken at about noon time from outside my house. I showed it to a friend and he saw what I saw right away, but then we have many similar interests and thought it may have influenced what we saw. Optical illusions and visual phenomena work that way I guess. (more…)
“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” ~Thornton Wilder
The sun is shinning, the air is warm and it’s an all around beautiful day here in Sarasota, Florida. This is what a friend of mine was thinking when he decided to head over to one of the area beaches today but things didn’t go as expected, sometimes things go wrong.
The Breakdown
Halfway to the beach on a busy road, near an equally busy intersection is where his car decided it was going to take a nice nap and just shut down. He couldn’t start it or move it and he couldn’t even put the hood up which is the universal sign of “help me” because the rod that holds up the hood broke months ago. (more…)
“Chase down your passion like it’s the last bus of the night.” ~Terri Guillemets
As of late, I have been doing more things that I enjoy which makes me much happier (duh). My passion for creating something out of nothing whether it be a craft, an art, and even writing something on a blank page has been working towards my ultimate happiness.
If you could, what would you do?
It’s not always easy to figure out what you’re going to enjoy doing. Sometimes it’s so obvious that it takes you half a lifetime to figure it out as it did me. Sometimes you need a friend to push you in the right direction, or in my case, several friends over the years. Sometimes I’m a little dense! (more…)
“In life there are no winners, only assholes with Swiss Bank Accounts.” ~ Matthew Lotti
I felt better after going off on my bitch-fest the other day, although, it was only a temporary fix as I’m a big ol’ A-hole again today. I learned something a couple days ago…. I learned to embrace my inner asshole (get your mind out of the gutter). I was watching a video of Deepak Chopra a friend had sent me five months ago. I forgot about it and never watched it until I was cleaning out my email inbox. I seemed to find it when I needed it. (more…)
Living with 
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