Saved by Slow Death

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” ~Sydney J. Harris

Living with bipolar disorder (undiagnosed) until my late 30′s is making my current life (diagnosed & medicated) far more difficult than I ever would have guessed.

Throughout my life I have made more than my share of bad decisions but they didn’t seem that bad while I was making them, but I had no idea there was a mental illness that was short circuiting my thoughts. When I made a bad decision it never completely registered that it was bad. On some level I knew I was doing something really bad but it had very, very little meaning. Continue reading

“Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It’s a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life.” ~ Carrie Fisher

I recently began seeing a new case worker and doctor because I have no insurance. The case worker stated that she tends to question when a person is diagnosed with bipolar disorder because it seems to happen too often. Then I began to question if I am bipolar at all. Continue reading

“There are seeds of self-destruction in all of us that will bear only unhappiness if allowed to grow.” ~ Dorothea Brande

I continually participated in behavior that could have cost me my life before I was diagnosed as being bipolar in 2006.  The strangest thing was, I never had a clue I was bipolar – being diagnosed was quite a shock.

It Began in the Late 1980′s

Sex was always on my mind, I never seemed to be able to think of anything else. Continue reading