“Tough times never last, but tough people do.” ~ Robert Schuller
One of the toughest things about crystal meth are the frightening hallucinations which are frequently caused by the lack of sleep.
I heard things that were enough to drive a person mad, and I think they nearly did. Hearing these things would end up causing me to break down and the roller-coaster ride of paranoia and hallucinations would be unstoppable. Continue reading
“Deception is a cruel act… It often has many players on different stages that corrode the soul.” ~ Donna A. Favors
Since my party n play days on meth, I have had time to think about past events and the opportunity to talk to others who experienced similar situations and many of our stories mirror each other. It’s been helpful to know our personal experiences were not uncommon or that unique. Continue reading
“Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.” ~ Dag Hammarskjold
Ghosts can be good or bad, nostalgic or haunting. Once meth was my heaven and also my hell on earth. My life felt empty and meaningless and I became detached from reality existing day to day – hour to hour. I limped through the days and nights, physically and mentally, I grew more passive and numb, and my world became stagnant.
The friends I had, the ones that cared, were hours or days away. I needed their shoulders so bad but they seemed so far out of reach. Every day I would wish for my friends to be near, yet if they called, it would be hard to hear their voices on the phone. I was emotionally distant from my family and when their calls came in I remained cold and isolated. My true friends, my family had become ghosts. Meth pushed them away. Continue reading
“Man could not live if he were entirely impervious to sadness. Many sorrows can be endured only by being embraced, and the pleasure taken in them naturally has a somewhat melancholy character.” ~ Emile Durkheim
After a certain amount of recovery takes place the realization of being confined to one room starts to wear on your nerves.
They brought me a wheelchair so that I could take off when I wasn’t hooked up to an IV or had a visitor. I had physical therapy every day, I was doing exercises on my own, and walking enough to get around my room. Continue reading
“Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man’s superiority to all that befalls him.” ~ Roman Gary
It was still only days into my 3 week stay at the hospital, but on this day I was somewhere far away in the land of hallucinations. Yes, I thought I was at a party and wondered why no one there would let me go smoke since I could see the outdoor patio and thought these people were damned mean! Continue reading
“Suffering is but another name for the teaching of experience, which is the parent of instruction and the schoolmaster of life.” ~ Horace
The story that follows comes immediately after, I Began to Wake Up. If you haven’t read it yet, you may want to get a little background.
I consider this to be the most important time of my life because I feel I grew more at this time than all my previous years put together – I was 37 at the time.
The challenges throughout the next month and a half were difficult to say the least. As hard as it was to go through, I consider it to have been a positive experience in many ways. If it weren’t for these events, I would not be who I am now and I’m happier with who I’ve become versus the person I use to be. Continue reading
“Trusting too much to others’ care is the ruin of many.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
Let me tell you of a time I had far too much trust in the meth loving group I was associating myself with on a weekly basis. Meth and trust never ever, go together…….ever!
Slamming Meth
It was back in the days after I had learned how to slam crystal meth. Slamming is the term used when you inject crystal meth into your vein with a syringe. Continue reading
