Monday, November 22nd, 2010 | Permalink
“Those who were pre-ordained to have no good karma at all – gazing into the lamp of emotional attachment, they are burnt, like moths in a flame.” ~ Sri Guru Granth Sahib
I feel my joke of a relationship with Simon was little more than that, I was a live-in house slave.
There’s a specific night hat I remember. As usual, Simon had invited two or three guys over to party and play, or in Simon’s case, do meth and lay there naked while watching porn. (more…)
Friday, June 25th, 2010 | Permalink
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” ~ Maria Robinson
One of the reasons I am still alive today is because of the length of time it takes crystal meth to kill you. Each time I used crystal meth it killed me a little bit more physically and mentally. Even the anticipation of using crystal meth increased my heart rate and I would feel like I was going to hyperventilate.
I began to age faster, but not fast enough to notice right away. One day I saw myself in the mirror and didn’t know who was looking back at me. I kept thinking I just needed more sleep – talk about an understatement. More time progressed and my reflection began to frighten me. (more…)
Friday, June 11th, 2010 | Permalink
“Methamphetamine is a hideous drug. Meth makes a person become paranoid, violent, and aggressive – making them a serious threat to society and law enforcement. And maybe more importantly, meth users are a threat to their own children and families.” ~ Dirk Kempthorne
I have to acknowledge more about my relationship with my now deceased boyfriend, Simon. It was my association with him that led me down the road of heavy drug use, namely crystal meth.
I have to admit I was already using before I met him, but it got far worse and far darker after I met him. It wasn’t as though he pushed me into it because I pursued him. I often wonder if I pursued him for all the wrong reasons. I don’t know why I wonder because I know it was for the wrong reasons. (more…)
Saturday, May 22nd, 2010 | Permalink
“Some of us can be examples about going ahead and growing, and some of us, unfortunately, don’t make it there, and end up being examples because they had to die. I hit rock bottom, but thank God my bottom wasn’t death.” ~ Stevie Ray Vaughan
A few years ago there was a lonely and confused guy who seemed to make bad decisions. Far from his home, he now lived in a place where all he knew had changed. Going to Starbucks and a movie was replaced with crystal meth and promiscuity. He became involved in the wrong crowd and this way of life was new to him and he had no idea how to act, what to say, or who to trust. (more…)
Saturday, March 27th, 2010 | Permalink
“Tough times never last, but tough people do.” ~ Robert Schuller
One of the toughest things about crystal meth are the frightening hallucinations which are frequently caused by the lack of sleep.
I heard things that were enough to drive a person mad, and I think they nearly did. Hearing these things would end up causing me to break down and the roller-coaster ride of paranoia and hallucinations would be unstoppable. (more…)
Sunday, March 14th, 2010 | Permalink
“Deception is a cruel act… It often has many players on different stages that corrode the soul.” ~ Donna A. Favors
Since my party n play days on meth, I have had time to think about past events and the opportunity to talk to others who experienced similar situations and many of our stories mirror each other. It’s been helpful to know our personal experiences were not uncommon or that unique. (more…)
Friday, January 15th, 2010 | Permalink
“Trusting too much to others’ care is the ruin of many.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
Let me tell you of a time I had far too much trust in the meth loving group I was associating myself with on a weekly basis. Meth and trust never ever, go together…….ever!
Slamming Meth
It was back in the days after I had learned how to slam crystal meth. Slamming is the term used when you inject crystal meth into your vein with a syringe. (more…)
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